So Much (Time)

So many paths, so many choices, so many moments, memories, ideas, thoughts, feelings. So much. So much that I can't grasp, that I can't remember, that I can't fully know. There's so much, I can't ever get it right or understand it.
Years have elapsed like seconds, and days have passed like centuries. Time is in flux.
My life is not bound by my schedule or plan, or the time frame of anyone else on this earth.
Friends, family, strangers, they are all on a clock that I cannot see.
And, all of it, every single bit is bound together and known by someone I can't comprehend.
I can't see it. I'm blind to all of it. I lose perspective and chase fruitless endeavors.
I'm lost and broken. How can I see it? There's just so much.

What if I sought to learn and learn and learn. Would I then know the time?
I would not.
Everything is leading up to this moment. This moment I can't see. No one can see it.
All life, all lose, all misery, all pain, all love, all hate, everything here will just stop.
The clock is ticking. I can't see it, though.

I'm so focused on me that I forget to care. I forget to breathe. I get lost in myself and forget to look up. So, is that my problem? Do I just need to look up? I feel the sky pulling me to it, but is it just that simple. Isn't there more. Don't I have to do something special? I'm here for a reason. Shouldn't I be living perfect, shouldn't I be more.

If I know anything, I know we have little time, so I should be doing something. But, every time I try,
I come back to me.

I'm out of time. And, all I can get is this,
I'll never know the time here. I'll never be right in myself.
I am a failure. I'm a mess up. I can't ever do enough or do it right.
The day is coming and I won't be ready.
I was born into a failing world, and I was born into darkness.
I am human. I am lost.

But God.

So, that's it. It's just Him.
When I don't know, He does.
When I can't see, He can.
When I'm lost, He finds me.

So, it's just Him. I don't have to do anything but go after Him.
I don't have to know everything, 'cause He does.

Wow, that's a relief.