My heart wants to scream, just to scream.
It seemed there is little holding me back from completely going over the edge. Which is odd. I've never really thought about actually losing it. It's an interesting state of inquiry. Some days I can see the line and hear the quiet whisper pulling me into reason and purpose. Sometimes I walk simply as a ghost. Either I have my eyes on reality, or I don't.
Yup, I'm human.
Oh, how I long to step fully into reality and be rid of my self-inflicted state of confusion.
I don't know. I never know. I never will.
And that's okay. I know I don't have the answers, I have peace with that.
But being so lost and broken is... exhausting.
Sometimes I can see the ground under me, sometimes not.
God, I need you.
So much desperation. There is no question about it.
It's either Him or nothing. I have no choice but to say, "I trust You."
I have no "Plan B." There is no contingency plan.
Everyday He has to show up.
Without You, I am nothing.
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen."
Lord, help me.
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