The Boy and the Bridge

His eyes drifted across the long, narrow bridge
Fog encompassed the bridge so that he could only guess at it's length
If his guess was accurate though there were over three hundred and sixty steps - probably more

His breathing grew sharp as he strained to keep air going to his lungs
He looked down to see shaking hands and unmoving feet
He closed his eyes, hoping to wish it all away - hoping to hide from the weight of it

Eyes rose again as he tried to pull himself together and get himself to move
He needed to be brave, courageous, strong
But all his heart could claim to be was terrified, overwhelmed, weak

Abruptly an echo reached his ears, shattering the silence of his world
His eyes jerked in the direction of the sound
The fog parted for an instant and there, past the bridge, stood the girl - waiting

His eyes suddenly couldn't make her out and he realized they were damp with tears
He dried his eyes quick as he could but when he looked again there was only fog
So he looked down to the first step in front of him

He still didn't feel brave or courageous or strong
But he had somewhere to be and he wasn't about to let his insufficiencies stop him
He stepped onto the bridge

The Boy and the Chasm

He didn't find solace in a punching bag
all he got was bloody hands

He couldn't find peace in memories
all he could see were his mistakes

He couldn't find relief in food or drink
his body wouldn't allow him either

He couldn't find reprieve in the stars
they seemed all too distant that night

He couldn't find hope from a friend
no one was there

It was just him - alone
desperately alone

He sat and cried
because there was nothing else for him to try

He cried until his eyes were done exercising
but the chasm remained

Finally he called out to the only one left to listen

"Will you make me joyful?
Will you make me smile?
Will you make me laugh?
Will you be my joy?"

The wind chilled his shirtless body
as he sat upon the roof waiting

No words came
but when he stood to leave he realized he could

The weight had diminished
the chasm was lessened

He shimmied down the ladder
and went inside to find his dad and tell him the day's events

Today: The Here and Now

A man once told me, "When you're running you don't look at the horizon. You'd trip. And you don't stare at your feet either. You look one or two steps ahead and then take those steps."

I'm a horizon chaser.
I set my eyes on the mountains and ponder how to conquer them while I hardly notice the boulder I just climbed over.

I forget today for tomorrow is all my brain lets me consider.
I just want to be old. I want to be creaky and tired but have had my whole life worked out.
I want to think upon when I was young and all the things I did and laugh at my stupidity and silliness.
But for some odd reason I find it difficult to live out those memories right now.

In the end though, what's the point of getting on with one's life if you forfeit the joy of today?

Today I decided to start challenging myself with that question.
I stepped outside and opened my eyes to today and this is what I saw:

Driving on the road I let a man in a truck pull in front of me and he gave me a short, quick wave of his hand in gratitude.

Leaving the coffee shop this morning I rushed to pull my car out so that the lady behind me could pull out easily and she gave me a kind smile.

The receptionist at my appointment today smiled at me so I talked with her and she gave me a snippet of what her life looked like.

Going into a store I started a conversation with the proprietor of the establishment and learned about her life and what was going on with the store.

I walked past a old man and wordlessly nodded and he nodded back.

These are the joys of being alive today. Small but so very impactful and so very important.
I'm so glad I didn't miss them.