Excerpt from "Drip Drop"

"I Love You."
what an odd phrase.
we make it meaningless when we
really
mean it to be
meaningful

we're not very good at this

I peeked my head out and wondered what life would hold.
Looking out over the faces staring I thought why, who, where, how, what, when.
I'm still asking those questions.

I don't know why everything happens the way it does.
But I know that it happens.
I know that I'm here.
So what next?

The girl cries and weeps
The man rages and foams
The woman worries and runs
The boy lies and lusts

I don't know why people hurt each other
I don't know why I let people hurt me
or why I let myself hurt others
But it hurts all the same

Her head is laid on my shoulder and I think
"maybe in this moment she's okay."

He tells me what happened
I pray with him and I think
"maybe in this moment he's okay."

She smiles at me and we sit down quietly and I think
"maybe in this moment I'm okay."

but i don't know

in this i hope:

                            someday
                   we'll
          be
okay

..............................i love you..............................
          ..............................i always will..............................
                    ..............................i'm here........................................
                              ....................though i'm lost........................................
                                       .....................i'm here..................................................
                                            ......................though i'm broken........................................
                                       ...................you know i will fall........................................
                              ...................you know i will shatter........................................
                    ...................so don't try to save me..............................
          ....................because only he..............................
.............................can........................................        

Solitude

          “Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, 

          or by running away from things, 

          or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. 

          Rather, 

          we must learn an inner solitude wherever 

          or with whomsoever we may be. 

          We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.” 

          Meister Eckhart

Pouring out, spilling over

To drown me

to swallow me

Slits on my wrists, slits on yours

Flooding out

again again again

Draining more than you know

Letting go more than you want

i can’t stop it

If you help me, then you bleed

If you’re fixed, then I bleed

over and over and over

What to stop the rush

What to bring the calm

to breed more than a corpse

My veins run dry

Yours run out

of what we need

Fainting

Cannot stand to see this anymore

no more please

Please

Someone who won’t die when I touch them

who won’t run out

Blood that won’t spill vainly as mine

Some to help us

to mend

Hold my tears

Feel my scars

i don’t want to be alone

i want you to help me

but I’m scared

please help my unbelief

Wander

a

little










farther

אמת

Truth

“The perfection that we can muster up.”
“The love that we can convey.”
“The vulnerability that we give to others.”
“The only thing that’s real.”

I am an imperfect man living in a shattered world.
Crawling to my feet, crawling to see the light, straining to see the understanding.
What can I give to this world? What can I give to my loved ones? What have I to offer?

My love? Yes. But how?
How do I say it, how do I show them, how do I convey the cascade of blood pumping within my soul?

Truth. All I can offer. All I can give. I’ll give you the truth and no lie.
I’ll give you the reality and nothing but. Here’s my heart, I’m not hiding it.

This is my turn. You can rub up next to me, wrap your arms around, sit quite close.
But I don’t feel that. So I’ll give you what I can.
I’ll speak the language I’ve been taught by my heart and my soul.
This is honesty. This is truth. My love for all of you.

I will not lie, because I love you.
On the day that I lie to your face, you have found a man who loves no more.
Pray you don’t find me there.

Here I am.
A man who loves with a word of truth and a sentence from his heart.
I’m not hiding. Look inside. This is me.